Watching nature take its course, from the top of a hill in northern England

Apple Tart


We know when it is truly Autumn, its when Spud the dog’s ratio of tennis balls to windfall apples, that he leaves lying around the house is 2:1 in favour of apples.

Apples 2 1 (2)

They are something of a health hazard, one of these days, it will the incident with the toy fire engine all over again, which  as I painfully remember resulted in a very bruised coccyx, rather than a cox

I’ve turned into a something of a mad apple lady, we have so many, the branches are straining under the weight of them and we’ve four trees.

I don’t seem to be able to make any inroads into them at all.  I’ve become obsessed, everywhere I go I have a  basket or box of apples with me. Please take my lovely apples  friends, colleagues neighbours, the ladies at exercise class,  no one can say no. (I could try standing on street corners I suppose, a bit like  like the man with the yards of lettuce).

Apples basket

Mind you, picking them is not without its hazards (Spud has to stay indoors, he runs off with them, and no one seems to keen on apples with canine teeth marks) On trying to reach the biggest and rosiest apples, for my friend Mrs McN,  the ones right from the top of the tree, one hit me in the face, I’ve an apple green bruise on my cheek… it’s ripening nicely

Author: uphilldowndale

Watching the rhythm of rural life, from the top of a hill in northern England. Having spent most of my life avoiding writing, I now need to do it! I am no domestic goddess, but if I were expecting visitors to my home, I would whisk round with the duster and plump up the cushions and generally make the place look presentable. I hope that by putting my words where others may see them it will encourage me to ‘tidy up and push the Hoover around’ my writing. On the other hand I may just be adding to the compost heap. Only time will tell! Pull up a chair, sit yourself down, I’ll put the kettle on.

7 thoughts on “Apple Tart

  1. The phrase “an embarassment of riches” comes to mind! We still have people leaving boxes on zuchinni on neighbor’s porches at midnight.

  2. I’ll take a few apples if you want to bring them up.

  3. It’s been a good year for apples. They seem to be rather hazardous for you one way and another. xx

  4. When my mother was a girl in France before the war the government sent licensed distillers around Normandy to distil the cider into calvados, mainly to stop the peasants doing it themselves and killing themselves in the process. (When I was a lad in Alabama in the 1960s moonshine production using lead stills and a high percentage of methanol was a real killer. ) i think the French way has promise, you could pulp the apples, ferment them and then get them distilled. You can drink the calvados but you could always use it as fuel and as a cleaning agent. If you keep it at full strength it’s a great decongestant, just take a small sip followed by a deep breath.

    Mind you such a simple and enjoyable idea will fall foul of HMRC, the Health Nazis and undoubtedly the local council….

  5. Pingback: Tale of Two Trees | Uphilldowndale

  6. Pingback: Crab apple way | Uphilldowndale

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